80 days

 I still cant believe, how much time that is

I didnt suffer for all of that, mostly the end

but how can I keep this up? 80 days, to process a 4 hour interaction

a couple phrases, few words in between

in context, it seems like nothing happened

but for my heart it was almost three months

of expectation, anxiety, fear, limerence

its so hard to put that on perspective

is that the cost of rejection?

is that how much time my heart needs to throw itself on the bottom of that well, again?

I see and feel only dark

Its been a while since Ive been this low

I thought, I dared, for a while, that i wouldnt feel like this again

I was flying, I did not believe I could fly again

This rollercoaster already killed me

I feel only bad

I want it all to stop

Just let me here with my roots and my water, and my indifference

i want to let it go