Parry!

 Its been two months! Even I am having a hard time believing that

and I say that because I was in a baaaad place, even worse shape, absolutely hollow living

but well, as all the mania goes, I think I'm riding the highs now

I'm starting to believe I can love again! I need love. I am a mess if I'm gonna be this needy all the time

as I type this, I can see the absurdity of it

look at this streak, I was at the bottom of the bottom of the get worse soon well

WELL

here we are, craving human touch, one more time!

astounding no one at all

but this time, as it is different every time, there is no you

there is no impossible distance

no impossible nightmare

no physical craving

I'm moving slowly and alone, through this swamp

my heart, which I still can't believe was found, aches!

Now, I will try, and again, TRY, to take this slow

and seriously take it, I'll get out more, talk to more people, put myself in danger more times

I feel deep in my heart that I should not suffer this much just for human touch, 

but if it is what it takes

for now

FOR NOW

I can handle this much. It's may! New hollow victory, new year! My body kinda feels light, I guess a lot of the bad sand leaked out, FINALLY

I'm really, really surprised this will end on a hopeful note

but yeah, if you are here and don't understand my mood swings, imagine being me

I parried the rock bottom