that I am not at that good a place, but I'm not wanting to write
I feel as if the words don't fit
I'm overflowing emotions, but they are all nameless
accursed undead
I don't think I ever got to this point before
I mean, that I feel like I have to write, but what I need to write is...
no good?
useless?
before, I wrote for meaning, to place these words on the ground, to register, fix them in my heart
but they are all so confusing now
and the giants are screaming
SCREAMING
at my ears now
NOT FOR YOU NOT FOR YOU NOT FOR YOU
I should've grown a backbone earlier in life
should've done whatever I had to do scared
now everything hurts to think
everything breaks to act
I am so lost
so sad
and so alone
I am so fucking alone
And nothing out of my fingers make sense
even reason left
no music, no tone, no melody
my found heart is beating to the sound of silence
