Lesser being

It's funny to me, or I dunno, kinda ironic

that I am not at that good a place, but I'm not wanting to write

I feel as if the words don't fit

I'm overflowing emotions, but they are all nameless

accursed undead

I don't think I ever got to this point before

I mean, that I feel like I have to write, but what I need to write is...

no good?

useless?

before, I wrote for meaning, to place these words on the ground, to register, fix them in my heart

but they are all so confusing now

and the giants are screaming

SCREAMING

at my ears now

NOT FOR YOU NOT FOR YOU NOT FOR YOU

I should've grown a backbone earlier in life

should've done whatever I had to do scared

now everything hurts to think

everything breaks to act

I am so lost

so sad

and so alone

I am so fucking alone

And nothing out of my fingers make sense

even reason left

no music, no tone, no melody

my found heart is beating to the sound of silence