Waterfall

 I am leaking

my heart is full

after all, a hollow can hold up infinite souls inside their void

full of nothingness, bitterness, fear, delusion, disappointment

every waking moment has been this nightmare, still

I am awake, this is happening; I am feeling this

reminder; pain; reminder; pain; reminder; pain

I am trying not to go there, not to think over there

I have been unsuccessful

when I am not writing, I am leaking this emotions, wild and hurtful

in a spiral bloodlust that demands answers I don't even have the questions to

You are in the middle of it, of course

I put you there. 

I needed a target, a reason, a motive

and its a weak one, I must confess

all this blind wanting, all these illusions, everything that is piercing my core

If I let them, my fingers will write until I die

I leak words, and I have been overflowing for a while

this bitter sensation is awful, it presses against my throat, bangs against my neck

screams: let me out, let me go, unhand me

where would I let you go? to whose deaf ears would you cry to

My self is dry. I am parched. Stardust, specks of recognition, humiliation

this ugly jealousy

of what, what for, who for

I am

a walking corpse

too lazy to be someone

too proud to become nothing

too eager to finish this race

longing for love, touch, forgiveness

wanting to be needed

fleeting kindness

smallest of blessings

"...into your darkness we all fall..."